While leaving a physical training session one
late morning in early December 2017, I crossed paths with the person whose
appointment followed mine. Severely disabled, a man sat slouched over towards
his right in a wheelchair, with legs extended and secured so as to not slip off
the side of the leg rests. He faced a
window, his frail body motionless, his face speechless and expressionless with
a blank distant stare. I noticed a woman
with him. Maybe his mother, maybe his
wife, sitting next to him on a bench.
Teresa, my assistant, walked over towards him
and straightened his ruffled lower pant leg. No words were exchanged. The man
remained motionless as though unaware. Only his eyes moved, shifting their gaze
to Teresa. He gave her one blink. She smiled, and said, "you're
welcome".
Watching this touching scene unfold struck me
poignantly, giving me pause, and set my thoughts in motion. Here was this
severely disabled middle-aged man, seemingly unaware of his surroundings and
his surroundings seemingly unaware of him. With one simple act of kindness, his
lights, which appeared to not be on flashed brightly when a stranger smoothed
his pant leg. A brief moment of connection formed between Teresa and this man
who is most likely used to being overlooked by the rest of the world.
While driving home from the gym, I continued
thinking about the scene I had just witnessed. Suddenly, a feeling of horrified
embarrassment struck me. I had just done to this man in a wheelchair exactly
what angers me most when I am the disabled man in the wheelchair. Shame
enveloped me. All I had seen was a seemingly unaware severely disabled man.
Teresa, on the other hand, saw beyond the visible, connecting with the man by extending
a simple random act of kindness.
So often we focus on the obvious, the
superficial, the exterior. We don't look beyond. Our only history may be this
one snapshot in another's life. We forget that our lives are more than random
snapshots in time. Rather, they are infinite snapshots sewn together creating a
feature length movie.
By looking beyond the obvious, beyond the
surface, we will find the story of a life. We will find the person is
somebody's son or daughter, maybe somebody's brother or sister. Maybe they are
somebody's husband or wife, somebody's mother or father. Maybe they once were a
star athlete or musician. Maybe they once were a fireman, policeman, postal
worker, engineer, chef, lawyer, or doctor. The point being, they have a life
beyond and are more than just their disability.
Friends, haven’t we all been there at one time
or another? Haven’t we all at times felt like this man, alone, overlooked, unseen
and unwanted? I offer a challenge to you. Whenever you see someone appearing
emotionally lost, take a chance. Step outside your box. Go beyond your comfort
zone. Reach out to them. Extend a simple
random act of kindness. You just might make someone’s day. You might
surprisingly find out you made your day as well.
.
