My 2014 MS Evening of Hope talk

Hope

As defined by Merriam-Webster

-To want something to happen or be true and think that it could happen or be true.

-To cherish a desire with anticipationhh.

-To desire with expectation of obtainment.

-To expect with confidence

-Trust

Hope is necessary. It is essential for survival, for living, for being.  Without it there is no reason for, or meaning of life. We all have so much for which to be hopeful.   It is each and every one of our responsibilities to define, discover, cherish, and maintain hope . Living with a chronic illness, such as multiple sclerosis, hope can easily be lost, or forgotten, or sometimes downright impossible. But we have so many more reasons for which to be hopeful than previous generations. Advances in understanding, diagnosing, treatments and medication, and research that has brought us that much closer to finding a cure are but a few.

My name is Rudy Yanuck. I am a 46 year old recently retired pathologist, the 2010 gateway area multiple sclerosis society chapter’s Father of the Year, and a 20 year survivor of multiple sclerosis. though my life with MS is full of moments of hope,, no doubt MS presents challenges each day.   My family shares these struggles with me and I know it is not easy.  For them, I am truly grateful.

I have so many of my own reasons for which to be thankful and maintain hope. Tonight I’d like to share with you my most precious.

My wife and I have had kids over three decades, two centuries, and two millenia.  How many couples can make that pronouncement?  I have her to thank for that and not only for the obvious reasons.The first five were premeditated.

Late winter 1994, during the last half of my surgery internship at the San Diego Naval Hospital,  my wife exclaimed, “I want a baby!”  “No,” I responded.  Starting a family was not on my short list of things to do.  I just received orders for flight surgery training in Pensacola following internship.  Six months that included education in aviation medicine and flight training, followed by what I envisioned as 2 years of a life much like the characters “Maverick” and “Goose”, the confident, cocky, envelope-pushing Navy fighter pilots from the 1986 movie “Top Gun.”   Those orders were never executed thanks to my diagnosis later that spring.

My wife was persuasive.  On December 19, 1994, we became parents of beautiful twin girls, Al .and Ca.  Al made our duo a trio at 10:36 pm, followed 15 minutes later by Ca, making our newly formed trio a quartet.  Our pure emotional bliss lasted less than 8 hours before tragedy struck.  Al became septic, requiring extreme modes of life support.  On Friday, December 23 - please take note of the date, 1994, Al took her last gasp of air as she kissed the three of us goodbye.  We were a trio again.  

Despite our grief and despair over Al, we chose the hope Ca brought us.

In 1996, my first year of pathology residency, in late winter, my wife exclaimed, “I want another baby!”  Again, I selfishly answered, “No.”  Later that year, on December 31, at 3:21pm, An entered the world, and our family.  A few months later his profound deafness was discovered.  At nine months he developed cataracts, and at 17 months, juvenile diabetes.  After an exhaustive genetic workup searching for a reason, the best answer we were given was, “The An syndrome, God just made him that way.”  A muscle biopsy was normal but “smelled like a mitochondrial abnormality,” according to Dr. Salvatore DiMauro, the World’s leading expert on mitochondrial diseases.  He discovered most of the mitochondrial disorders, literally writing the book.   Later An’s developmental delays became evident. He suffered a traumatic retinal detachment resulting in the loss of that eye, and most recently vision threatening glaucoma in his remaining eye.

More grief and despair, but ultimately we chose hope.

Early summer 2003, my wife, earned her  MSW degree with honors at Washington University, the nation’s top school for social work, My wife again exclaimed, “I want another baby!”  Once again my answer was,”No.”  After all, it would make more sense to put her newly earned graduate degree to good use, right?   On August 24, 2004, at 11:23pm, El was born, greeting us with smiles, bringing us hope.  My wife proved to me that being an amazing mother and a superstar therapist were not mutually exclusive.

In early 2008,  my wife proclaimed, “I’m going to be 40 soon.  This is my last chance.  I want another baby.”  She was only 36.  Initially, I responded with my consistent “No.”   Then, over the next few weeks, I began thinking about her desire to have another child.  I’ve heard older women say, a touch of regret in their voices, “I wish I would have had more kids.”  I have never heard anyone say, “Damn it! I had too many,”  I wanted to prevent her from having this regret.   At 12:12pm, October 13, 2008, Os, who looks like the love child of Paul Newman and Brad Pitt, completed our brood.  Our family was finalized...or so we thought.

“But dad, you’re a doctor.  You should know how to prevent this,” 16 year old Ca lamented when we told her my wife was pregnant in early summer 2011.  We were still in shock ourselves.  On mid morning Friday December 23, my wife spontaneously went into labor.  At 4:00pm Ab unequivocally completed our family filling our lives with more joy a hope than we could have imagined.  

Now days, in late spring 2014, when asked my kids’ ages, I reply, “19, 17, 9, 5, ...and 2.”  Preemptively answering the unasked questions, I continue.  “Same mom. No, we’re not Catholic.  And until recently, no, the middle names are not ‘Oops’... but it’s the best damn mistake I’ve ever made.”

Never lose hope.

Thank You